Kids are a bundle of energy. They love to play, do things, make noise and enjoy. As an adult, more often than not, we too enjoy watching kids talk, play and make things. Why then do we get angry and say harsh words to kids? Is it because kids tend to cross boundaries of conformity which adults have set? And when adults are faced with such a challenge from a younger one, we tend to scold, shout and rebuke.
Can you imagine an entire day without having to scold your child? If you have a child under the age of 10, chances are that you may be scolding him/her every day and not realizing it. But do you realize the psychological effect of scolding on your little one?!
Kids can learn very rapidly. If you shout, they will learn to shout. If you speak bad stuff about them, they will speak the same bad stuff at you. If you threaten, then they will threaten you as well. Worse, if you threaten and do not carry it out, they learn that it is an empty threat. This will embolden them to do the same infuriating thing again and again.
There are kids who would be affected even more by your scolding. Some withdraw into their shell preferring to not interact with adults or parents who scold, rebuke or tell them off. Some develop a belief that they are not welcome in the home and in the family they have. And some think they ARE to blame for the constant remarks they get from their parent. A feeling of being unloved, being unwanted and being useless can be a dangerous psychological ground for depression to set in and become difficult to treatment.
So, what should you do? How do you make your child understand what is right and what is wrong? Talk to your child in words s/he understands. I am not pointing out the language you should use, but the meaning of right and wrong should be explained in terms which your child at his age can understand.
The commonest mistake parents do is telling the child how doing this or that will influence his future!! A young one is NOT concerned about the future. S/he is more concerned about his friends, his schoolmates, his teacher and what they will ‘know’ about him. A child is happy when you give an ice-cream and ‘afraid’ when the ice-cream or chocolate that is in the refrigerator is in danger of vanishing!
Please remember scolding should not scald or scar your child!